Show your boobies!  I want my Jerry beads. 

First off, I've missed out on some pretty good dreams hyere.  I had one about me and lots of naked people in an oddly geometrically shaped pool about a foot and a half deep.  A guy from work was several yards away in the water having sex with a girl, her knee pits over his shoulders style.  I don't remember if the girl was someone I knew in real life or not.  I don't remember if anybody was having sex with me, either.  Probably not, that seems like something I'd remember.

I had one about Russ.

I had one in which my 5 year old cousin, Gracie, was almost bald. 

I missed the boat in one of them.  Then, my mom and I were swimming and  a tornado cut across the ocean, and we had to swim very deep and hold on to the underside of a rock.  And we did.  The water was awfully dark, as well.

I was taking a tour of a college in one of the states, I'm thinking the New England area, and there were mountains and monkeys, lots of monkeys.  The bleachers were set facing down into a valley where there were birds, and vines and an assload of monkeys.  I remember something about my socks getting wet and I had to go into a very dark, cold room and change them.

I was at work serving a table, a party of ten, in which my mom was sitting.  First, they ordered appetizers and everything came out fine.  Then, they ordered clothes and I had to dry them and iron them, and it took me way too long, and everyone was really mad.  During all of this, my manager, the cool one, was sitting at a table nearby doing a crossword.  I had totally forgotten about a table the hostess had just told me she seated.  I went over to do my "Hi, I'm Morgan, whaddya like to drink?" thing and the people were all pissed and said "You will not be our server.  Jesus.  I quit my job.

I was invited to a trivia contest with Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen and Bill Gates.  It was at a K-Mart, and the floor was red and white checkerboard, and it was bouncy.  I bounced so high I hit my head on the ceiling a few times.  I was wearing a white linen dress that looked like it came from the 50s, bouncing.  The contest coordinator asked me to introduce myself and I did, and all of the people in the room, about 100 people clapped.  There was a black guy a few feet from me laying on his back bouncing from my bouncing.  The contest started and when it came to be my turn, my question was "What is the sparnox?  Sparnox has seven letters."  I was stumped, but Bill Gates was on my team, and he said, it's an audebahn.  I don't know if that's the correct spelling, but it means a sparnox is a bird.

I was at a soccer camp and it began to rain and my cousins, who were at the camp with me, thought it would be a good idea to climb up onto the telephone wires and slide all the way home on the slick, wet wires.  And we did.  I got stuck in a tree a few times.  That shit happens, I guess.  On the last wire before the house, I was the last to slide on the wire, and the cousin who went before me was too heavy and broke the wire, but I made it down in the knick of time.

They just keep coming.  Now, in the real world, I got my air conditioner in my car fixed, and it blows hard and cold.  It's a beautiful thing.

I've been playing too much pool, and drinking too much wine.  I'll update this when something else happens.    

Yaaaay!  I'm snuck on this hyere ol' intro-web.  I'm excited.  So I'm going to West Virginia very soon.  Yay again.  I miss my motherfucking mountains.  I've been working way too much and going out and drinking a little.  That's fun.  I'm also the whitest white girl in WHorry County.  Yaay!

That about does it for now.  I still have to sneak over to foamy and my email and something else.  Anway, I lost my address book.  I have no nothing.  I'm skeert.  Have some good days.  Boiyuexeei 

She said "ugh," and it's that lovin' sound.

I'm feelin' good, in case you're keeping tabs.  I went to the movies with a guy from work tonight, and the movies were fancy, and big, and there were lots of them.  We saw The Amityville Horror.  It was intense, and we jumped and cried like babies.  It was fun.  I laugh when I'm scared.  There's something wrong with me.  Yaaay!

Tomorrow is the day those guys shot up Columbine, but I'd much rather think of it as April twentieth.  A bunch of people from work are throwing a "Hawaiian Party," although there's nothing Hawaiian about it that I can think of.  Preposition.  Whoops.  This is the United States of Whatevah, and thank the gods for that one part that lets you write whatever the fuck you want, however the fuck you want, whenever the fuck you want.  Cool.  So anyway, I was informed today that at this 4/20 party, there will be a page ripped out of a Bible and the "biggest joint you've ever seen" will be rolled from it.  I'm slightly entertained at the thought.  Okay, more than slightly, but it doesn't really matter.

I'm off work tomorrow and I'm gonna redye my hair and go to a Hawaiian Party.  Maybe I'll wear a flower in my hair...or something that grew, and is pretty.  Everybody's doin' it.  First hit's free.  C'mon, man!

Anyway, enough meaningless jabber about movies and recreational drugs.  I'm excited and there's absolutely nothing new.  Work's cool, I make money, my mom's a moron, and that's how it goes.  Every day is a good day.

Oh yeah, the aforementioned guy from work picked me up for the movie, and his car has a dash, and carpet, and door panels, and air conditioning, and a spider.  All but the latter would be really cool to have in a car.  One day, I'll be reech, eat at the Seezler, and have a pimped out ride.  Aforementioned guy promised that if he won the lottery, he'd loan me the money to hop up my hooptie.  Aren't words fun?  Gee golly gosh darn!

10-8

Awesome.  Gnarly, dude.  Hang fucking ten. 

Well, my gods.  My grandparents have taken this unternet battle a step further and they actually removed a wire from behind the phone jack.  They went to a lot of trouble today.  I don't know how they knew I was online last night, but apparently, they did, and they took action.  Lucky for me I have a screwdriver and I'm not afraid to use it!  What the fuck is it with these people?

I had the cock and balls again, but, as last night, my cock was taken from me, but this time by a nice young gentleman named Josh, so I had a booth sortof near where my cock originally was.  It curved to the left.  That's normal, right?

Vodka makes people unfriendly.  Martinis make you rich, and anything fruity makes you a girl, or a faggot.  Fuckin' quars!

Oh yeah, there's no sense in anybody eating 22 ounces of steak.  It's ridiculous, but I'm glad stupid golfers get it because it's the m ost expensive thing on the menu, and that drives the ticket total up, which makes me look like super-waitress and generally yields a bigger tip.  Cool.  There was a couple that came in tonight and they ate thirteen big, honkin', yeast rolls.  She had an 18-ounce pork chop, and he had the 22-ounce porterhouse.  I was proud for them, and they left me $15.  I hope they come back very soon, and I'll stuff them full of rolls and meat and collect my $15.

There's this bartender guy at work, Josh, and he's cool.  Maybe he'll take me to a strip club or something.  I sure do love me some naked women with shakin' boobies!  BOOBIES, WOO!

Work sucked tonight more than it has ever sucked before.  I had to do a lot of stuff, and I had some really shitty "guests."  "Guests" is a hip, restaurant term for customers.  For the record, I don't like my "guests" a little on the trashy side.

I spent $43 and filled my car up with gas.  That blew.  Hard.  I hate spending money on stupid shit like that.  Shit that my car guzzles like assholes and vodka. 

I burnt my arm on the heat lamp.  It looks really gruesome.  One of the manager guys sprayed it with some weird sticky stuff that I was told would help.  I guess.  It still hurts like a bitch, and it's right on the inside of my elbow which a really unfortunate place to have a burn.  I'm sure you can imagine.

Well, I'm just going on and on talking about nothing but a bunch of stupid shit.  Sorry.  Maybe something interesting will go through this lil ol' head soon, and I'll type all about it, and you can read it.  Maybe my grandparents will finally succeed at getting my ass off this "damned ol' internet."  I hope not.  I won't go down without a fight.  Okay, maybe I will.  I'm beginning to not give a shit.  That's the story of my life.  Happy day!